Starting to adjust to empty and (relatively) clean streets in America! After living in Asia for the past decade, seeing an empty street like this at any time of the day makes you think for a second that something terrible has happened!

Red and blue strobes explode in your mirrors. You pull to the side of the road and madly begin fishing through the glove box for your registration and insurance. Then you tear off the seatbelt so you can jam a hand down your pants to locate your wallet. Just trying to be courteous, right? You know, have all your documents ready when The Man strolls up to your window.

Turns out, most cops don’t want you to do anything except rest your hands on top of the steering wheel until directed otherwise.

Didn’t know that, did you? Neither did we.

FIVE BEST THINGS TO DO

1. Pull to the right at the first safe opportunity, then turn off your engine.

If it’s not a safe place to stop, Oregon’s Lt. Gregg Hastings wants you to activate your right-turn signal, then drive slowly to a safer place. “A safer place, by the way, isn’t a considerable distance down a dark side road, driveway, or alley,” he says. “Keep in mind that traffic-related officer deaths jumped 16 percent in 2006,” Hastings adds.

2. Stay in your car with your seatbelt fastened. Roll down your window. Turn off the radio. Don’t even think about touching your cell phone.

“When a motorist climbs out of his vehicle,” says New Jersey’s Sgt. Stephen Jones, “it may give the impression he’s aggressive or has something to hide in the vehicle. I remember a man who briskly walked back to my car. I ordered him back, and he kept trying to give me his credentials at the rear of his car. The source of his consternation was two marijuana plants partly under a cloth in his back seat.”

“I pulled over a guy in a Jeep CJ, and he exited his vehicle,” recalls New Mexico’s Lt. Richard Anglada. “That’s when I realized his Jeep was rolling back toward my brand-new police car. Summoning all my strength, I had to hold his Jeep from rolling while I told him to set his brake—another reason we want people to stay in their cars.”

“Roll down your window completely,” adds Sergeant Jones. “Nothing’s more frustrating than trying to speak through a slightly cracked window. If you only give me an inch-wide gap, you hinder my ability to determine your sobriety and are more likely to be invited to continue the conversation outside your car.”

If you don’t leave your seatbelt on, the officer may also assume you were driving unbelted, thus another ticket.

There are exceptions to the stay-in-your-car rule, however. “We always ask the driver to exit the vehicle with his license, registration, and proof of insurance,” says Louisiana Trooper Johnnie Brown. What if you’re not sure whether to stay put or climb out? “Just sit still,” Brown says, “and it won’t be long before we’ll tell you what we want.”

3. Place your hands on top of the steering wheel and sit quietly. Ask passengers to remain silent.

“Whatever dangers we face, they will be channeled through the hands,” says Sergeant Jones. “We’d like to see the hands of every person in the car, frankly.”

Although they don’t insist on it, Lieutenant Hastings, as well as most other troopers, greatly prefer that you tell them where you’re about to reach. “It puts me at ease if you say, ‘I’m going to reach for my wallet now,’ ” he says, “or, ‘I need to open the glove box, okay?’ ”

4. Retrieve license, registration, and proof of insurance only when asked to do so.

Illinois M.Sgt. Luis Gutierrez appreciates it if you turn on your four-way flashers and your interior lights, especially at night. And Lieutenant Hastings strongly advises that you know where your documents are before you’re stopped. “If you start fumbling around, it suggests the car may not be yours, or that you may not have a license, or that you’re hoping the officer won’t see what you’ve hidden in the car,” he says. “And when you find your documents, don’t throw them at me.”

“I find it funny when a driver is reluctant to open his glove box, usually because he doesn’t want me to see what’s in there,” says Lieutenant Anglada. “He’ll open it as slowly as possible to avoid anything falling out. From my vantage, I usually see the contraband before he does.”

Adds Florida Trooper Larry Coggins, “A traffic stop is not the time to clean out your car, sorting through 10 years’ worth of registrations and insurance cards. Also, tell me immediately if you have a gun [legal or otherwise] anywhere on you or in the vehicle.”

“Never reach under your seat,” adds Sergeant Jones, “and never reach into the passenger area.”

“I stopped a motorist for speeding, and he was a security guard,” remembers Trooper Brown. “He exited the vehicle with his service revolver on his side. I made him place his hands on his head, then removed the weapon from his holster, removed the bullets, and placed the revolver separate from the bullets in the passenger compartment. Any weapon—gun, knife, pepper spray, whatever—tell me first.”

5. Answer questions succinctly. Avoid arguing, cursing, or interrupting when the officer speaks to you.

“Don’t assert your disgust about traffic laws,” suggests Trooper Coggins. “There’s nothing we can do about the laws, and the side of the highway is no place to argue your case. Save it for court.”

“Arguing with a trooper about speed,” says Sergeant Jones, “is like spitting into the wind.”

“Be civil,” advises Trooper Brown. “I stopped a pizza-delivery vehicle for 60 mph in a 45 zone. The driver told me to hurry up, that he had a pizza to deliver in 30 minutes or less. I asked for registration and proof of insurance, and he didn’t have either. I informed him I’d have to tow his vehicle for not having the required paperwork. He began to curse at me. After a brief inspection of the vehicle, he received seven tickets.”

FIVE WORST THINGS TO DO

1. Don’t slam on your brakes when you see the flashing lights, and don’t continue driving for an extended distance.

“At times, those actions are perceived as intentional,” says Lieutenant Hastings. “They just place an officer on edge.”

2. Do not jump out of the vehicle, do not make any sudden movements, and do not approach the officer.

“I pulled over a ’60s-model Chevy truck one night,” recalls Lieutenant Anglada, “and the driver gets out and is running toward my car with his hands wrapped in a blanket. I feared he was concealing a weapon. So I drew my side arm and ordered him to show me his hands. Turned out that his old truck didn’t have a heater—he was freezing.”

“Motorists should try to put themselves in my place,” suggests Trooper Coggins. “Just because I stopped a guy for speeding, it still runs through my mind that he might be fleeing a crime scene, might be a wanted fugitive, impaired, a kidnapper with a body in the trunk, a carjacker who hasn’t been called in yet—I just don’t know.”

3. You can complain, you can proffer wild explanations, but not for long.

Lieutenant Anglada claims way too often to have heard the excuse, “I was speeding because I had to go to the bathroom.” He recalls a woman who used that justification, then exited her car. “She asked if I’d hold a blanket around her while she squatted to relieve herself,” Anglada recalls. “I advised her to stroll off into the bushes while I waited. She still got the ticket. Over the years, officers develop an excellent ear for sincerity.”

“We stress to our troopers not to issue ‘attitude tickets,’ ” says Lieutenant Hastings. “But we can take only so much complaining before we’ve heard enough.”

4. Do not lie. If you were speeding, admit it. If you honestly have no clue why you were stopped, wait for the officer to tell you.

“There’s no substitute for frankness, but often we just see freakiness,” says Sergeant Jones. “Don’t respond with, ‘Why’d you stop me? Don’t you have criminals to catch?’ That’s a sure-fire way to receive justice rather than mercy. And think again if you believe you’ve come up with an excuse for speeding that we haven’t heard.”

“If people are honest and admit they’re wrong,” says Lieutenant Anglada, “90 percent of the time I’ll drop their speed or just give them a warning. If the person lies or accuses the officer of being wrong, 99 percent of the time the driver is going to get the ticket with no break.”

5. Do not show your contempt by peeling away after the stop.

Says Lieutenant Hastings, “Squealing your tires, tossing gravel at me, cutting off other motorists as you pull back on the highway—that’ll get you another several minutes with the same officer who just stopped you.”

The website for the festival claimed that this was the only ‘official’ bluebonnet festival and it used alot of language to suggest this was THE place for Texas Bluebonnets.

Ennis was designated by the 1997 State Legislature as the home of the“Official Texas Bluebonnet Trail” and was designated the “Official Bluebonnet City of Texas.”

Remember to stop by the Ennis Visitor Center to pick up your highlighted Bluebonnet Trail Map.  The staff and volunteers at the Ennis Visitor Center will highlight the best trails on this map on the day of your visit.

So, we drove down there (about an hour drive from Arlington, TX) with somewhat high expectations.  After all, the bluebonnets around here are pretty impressive, so the bluebonnets in the “Official Bluebonnet City” ought to be out of this world!

We did find some bluebonnets in one small section of a park at the beginning of the ‘bluebonnet trail’ and took some photos.  We were pretty disappointed by the amount of bluebonnets at the park, but thought we were likely to see some fantastic fields of bluebonnets as we drove along the trail, so we moved on.

However, for the next hour or so, we traveled along the trail and saw almost NO more bluebonnets!  It seems the ‘Offical Bluebonnet City’ does not have many bluebonnets this year or our friendly volunteer highlighted the wrong trail(s) when I picked up the trail map!
 
It worked out okay, we had fun driving in the country (sans bluebonnets), we had a nice picnic outside and everyone stayed relatively happy for the entire outing.

We did see some really beautiful bluebonnets on our drive back home (between Dallas and Arlington) so we did get to enjoy some bluebonnets after all.

Just be warned – if you are going to Ennis for the Bluebonnet Festival – don’t get your hopes up that your going to be seeing very many bluebonnets!

Turns out, a couple of high school kids in New Jersey put Chuck Norris’ name on a ‘hit list.’

Chuck Norris, being a class act, put out this thoughtful statement when he heard about the arrests:

 

“When I learned yesterday [Wednesday] of the story about a high school student in New Jersey faced with expulsion from school and possible other problems after being charged with compiling a ‘hit list’ that contained my name, my first instinct was to say nothing. Not to risk making something out to be bigger than it is.

“But I realize that this is not the best course, for such behaviors are exactly the warning signs we have ignored for far too long, emanating from a growing at-risk population of young people in this country.

“In today’s world, we must always be vigilant, not just in stepping up protection and emergency preparedness in schools, but in reaching out to those lost souls who feel marginalized and disenfranchised by the world around them.

“It is what I have been doing for more than a decade with my ‘KickStart’ program, which began in Houston, Texas, teaching 150 at-risk children martial arts as part of the PE curriculum. Since that time, our program, which instills discipline and respect and raises self-esteem, has grown to serve more than 6,000 youngsters year round at 37 schools in Dallas and Houston, Texas. To date, KickStart has graduated more than 40,000 students with many going on to college and becoming successful in their own right.

“My hope is that, should there be substance to these charges, we will not distance ourselves from this young man, but embrace him and give him the help he needs to get on the right path.”

His statement just confirms what a great guy Chuck Norris is.

All I’ve got to say about those two kids, if they were serious, WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!

Texans enjoy their traditions – and nothing is quite as traditional as a corny dog at the State Fair of Texas. The Fletcher brothers, Neil and Carl, had no way of knowing the phenomenon that they were “cookin’” up back in 1942 and selling for a mere 15 cents. In an attempt to break into the food concession business they created the ultimate in fair food – sweetened corn-battered hot dogs on a stick, dipped in oil heated to 365 degrees and fried to perfection.

The Fletcher family continues to serve up these delectable treats each year at the State Fair of Texas. Operating out of six locations throughout the grounds, the family sells more than 500,000 corny dogs during each 24-day event. (That’s alot of corn dog goodness going on!)

So, what do you think about corny dogs?  Take the poll;

Corny Dogs Recipe

• 8 hot dogs
• 1 cup yellow cornmeal (not stone-ground)
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 4 teaspoons baking soda
• 3/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 cup milk
• peanut oil for deep frying
• Wooden skewers or Popsicle sticks
• Yellow mustard for dipping

Boil the franks for a few minutes. Remove from water and drain.

Combine the dry ingredients. Combine the egg and milk. Add to the dry ingredients, mixing well.

Insert the skewers to within 1/2 inch of the top of each hot dog. Coat each hot dog evenly with cornmeal mixture. Deep fry, a few at a time, in hot oil for 3 to 5 minutes or until golden brown. Serve with lots of yellow mustard.

ARLINGTON, Texas — With two amusement parks, the Texas Rangers’ recently built baseball stadium and the Dallas Cowboys’ $1 billion football stadium on its way, Arlington is transforming itself from an aging suburb to the Lone Star State’s playground.

The city was awarded the Cotton Bowl beginning in 2010, the 2011 Super Bowl — which will bring millions of dollars to the local economy — and is bidding to host an NCAA Men’s Final Four basketball tournament between 2012 and 2016.

The Arlington Convention and Visitors Bureau estimates that city attractions draw between 6 million and 7 million visitors a year. Cluck expects that figure to increase once the Cowboys’ stadium and an adjacent retail and restaurant center called Glory Park open in 2009.
The focus on entertainment is in some ways a return to form for Arlington. During the Great Depression it was home to a horse racing track and a club called Top O’ Hill Terrace, known in an official history as a “gambling playground for the rich, adventurous, mischievous, famous and infamous.”

Arlington’s transformation into northern Texas’ largest suburb began in 1953 when a General Motors Corp. plant went up. By 1970, about 90,000 people lived in Arlington, and today there are about 370,000, making it the state’s seventh most populous city.

Once a prestigious address, the city sprawled outward with little foresight. It remains the largest city in the nation without public transportation.

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.

If you forget a Texan’s name, refer to him (or her) as “Bubba”. You have a 75% chance of being right.

Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

If you do run your car into a ditch, don’t panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don’t try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don’t be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.

Do not buy food at the movie store.

If it can’t be fried in bacon grease, it ain’t worth cooking, let alone eating.

Remember: “Y’all” is singular. “All y’all” is plural. “All y’all’s” is plural possessive.

There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a Texan accent, unless it is a Texan imitating a Boston accent.

Get used to hearing, “You ain’t from around here, are you?”

People walk slower here.

Don’t be worried that you don’t understand anyone. They don’t understand you either.

The first Texan expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner’s vocabulary is the adjective “Big ol’”, as in “big ol’ truck” or “big ol’ boy”. Eighty-five percent begin their new Texan influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

Be advised: The “He needed killin’” defense is valid here.

If attending a funeral in Texas, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.

If you hear a Texan exclaim, “Hey, y’all, watch this!” stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.

Most Texans do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.

Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car’s windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.

The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you’re supposed to do.

Satellite dishes are very popular in Texas. When you purchase one it is to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. This is logical bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the trailer and should, therefore, be displayed.

In Texan churches you will hear the hymn, All Glory, Laud and Honor. You will also hear expressions such as, “Laud, have mercy”,”Good Laud”, and “Laudy, Laudy, Laudy”.

As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone directly in the middle of the road, remember that many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for the vehicle.

You can ask a Texan for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you’re better off trying to find it yourself.

This photo is a view of Hurricane Dean as seen from the International Space Station

I guess this is something in Texas that will make this ‘Florida boy‘ feel at home when I move to Arlington next month!

It appears the attitude toward hurricanes in Texas is similar to many in Florida…

If the fierce storm appears to be bearing down on Texas Monday, they’ll be boarding up windows and fastening down roofs, preparing for the worst. But on Saturday, Lee and Courtwright were more interested in surfing.

I think that where we’ll be living, the threat from hurricanes will be significantly less than the threat in St. Pete where my parents live.

Interestingly, here in China they don’t have “Hurricanes”, they have “Typhoons.” What’s the difference between a hurricane and a typhoon?

Aside from the name, not much. Both are severe tropical systems that have wind speeds greater than 74 mph.

They are called “hurricanes” in the Atlantic Ocean, Caribbean and eastern Pacific Ocean. But once your go west across the International Dateline and into the western Pacific Ocean, they’re called typhoons. And of course, the Australians, who have colorful names for just about everything, have their own term for hurricanes: “willy-willys.”

Typhoons generally tend to be stronger than hurricanes, but only because there’s warmer water in the western Pacific and are better conditions for storm development.

Maybe one day I’ll live in Australia and can experience a “willy-willy” (can that really be true?) Then I can say that I’ve experienced all three…

DALLAS — There have been more than a few athletes accused of doping over the years — but the competitors at the “Texas Redneck Games” might just be dopes.

These competitors forgo the shotput for the “Mattress Chuck” — where teams of two slam a 12-pack of beer, get in a pickup truck and start driving, then climb into the bed and throw the mattress as far as possible. And if you aren’t planning on heading to Beijing for the next Olympic Games, there’s always the ugly “butt-crack contest.”

By the time the latest event ended Sunday, more than 54 arrests and citations had been issued on charges ranging from public intoxication to speeding, according to the Henderson County Sheriff’s Department. Officials are considering charges against the organizer and landowners where the event was held.

Of course, I did use to live in a place called “Alert” (pronounced “Ay-Lurt”) in rural North Carolina… so maybe I’ll fit in just fine!

YeeeHaaaw!

___

You can read more about it here:

I just hope the Darwin Awards had a representative on the grounds.

Authorities not amused by Texas Redneck Games

Texas ’Redneck Games’ draw several thousand

How do you distinguish the rednecks from the white trash?

Olympics beware, rednecks going for gold